Reach Your Goals: Stop Breaking Promises to Yourself


December 18, 2019

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Since 2008, I’ve told womens’ stories through empowering boudoir sessions. Now as a certified life coach as well as a photographer, I help women cultivate radical self-love, guided by mindset. Sit back with a margarita  in hand and let's do this transformational journey together.
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Hi, I'm tami

How many of you love the idea of New Year’s resolutions as much as I do? It’s a fresh start. It’s time to finally reach those goals that we keep saying we are going to do tomorrow…er, next week…okay maybe this upcoming year…or maybe just some time in the future??

Haha, I get it. Been there, done that way more times than I’d like to admit! So I want to help you by giving you my top tips that will help you attain your goals in the new year so you can finally stop breaking promises to yourself!

Notepad to write your to-do list and goals for 2020.

Tip #1 – Set goals for yourself, not resolutions.

Think about this for a moment. When you resolve to do something, it means you are working on fixing something that’s currently broken or not working. Would you rather fix a problem or create something amazing? I know I’d prefer that later! So instead of resolving something like to “not be in so much debt”, how about you aim to set a goal to “pay off an additional 10% of your credit card bill each month” instead? By having goals, you are creating forward steps that will ultimately “resolve” your problems. It’s just a much better way of doing at it!

Tip #2 – Don’t let your future success be based on your past experience.

You’ve got it all wrong if you are thinking, “I don’t know if I can lose the weight (earn 6-figures, start a business, find the man of my dreams, etc) because I’ve never been able to do it before”. So many of us look into our past to find evidence of our success, but that’s not what determines success. That is just our subconscious wanting things to be easy. It doesn’t want to work hard if it doesn’t have to! Our brain forms these synapses for things we do frequently, so we don’t have to put much thought into them. If you want to base your future goals off of the past, then you are basically just reverting back to your highest level of mental training. To exceed and succeed, you need to train your brain by doing new, harder actions.

What determines your success with these new, hard actions? It’s your level of commitment. How truly committed are you to reach that goal? For example, if you were to tell me you want to lose 20 lbs in 6 months, and then I replied back with, “And if you don’t lose the 20-lbs, will you pay me $50,000?” Most of you might be flabbergasted by that and be like, “Um, no! I’m not giving you that kind of cash!” But if you are committed to your goal, then you won’t have to give me that money. THAT is the kind of commitment you need.

To-Do - How to Create Goals so you stop breaking promises to yourself in 2020.

Tip #3 – Failure is a good thing!  

Can I get a hand raise for all of you out there that are perfectionists that are afraid to fail? (guilty as charged!) Trying to avoid failure though is the absolute worst thing you can do for yourself. You are probably thinking if I avoid trying something that is hard and outside of my comfort zone, then I can’t fail. You don’t want to feel regret/sadness/discomfort.  But guess what? You’ve probably failed at something at some point in life (many times, actually) and you are still here…alive and kicking! You survived and likely learned something in the process. If you don’t allow yourself to get over the fear of failing, then you will only know what it means to be stagnant and not to know what it means to grow and find success. Success is not a final destination. It’s a journey of trying, failing, trying again, and growing. 

Tip #4 – Start small

You don’t need to find the cure to cancer next year, but if that was your goal, maybe you can start small by committing to doing an hour of research each day. While many of us have BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) that we want to attain, trying to complete it in one fellow swoop can be paralyzing. I suggest picking one small goal to move forward with because then you will actually take action. What happens when you take action? Your self doubt reduces and you build up confidence. This, in turn, will motivate you to progress forward with taking even more action. It’s okay to look at the big picture with your goal, but by breaking it down into smaller, more reasonable action steps, you will be more likely to succeed. 

Tip #5 – Be honest with yourself

You are gonna have your days where you choose to be lazy over diligent. Where you want that beer instead of a glass of water. You want to watch Netflix instead of working on that project plan. NO ONE IS PERFECT! Be sure that you are honest though with yourself when these slip-ups start to override your path towards reaching your goals. I recommend that you commit to writing down the goals that you have for yourself and then have a good look at your day and make sure the things you are doing each day are aligning with those goals. Will going out with your friends for a happy hour put you in a situation where you can’t resist drinking? Plan another type of outing instead so you can see your friends and stick to those goals. Want to reach more clients in your area with your business? Maybe it’s time to cut back on that Hulu marathon so you can head to that networking event or do a live chat on social media instead.

Reaching your goals takes a lot of work. You will have mishaps. You’re gonna want to stick with what is comfortable and easy. But if you are honest with yourself about your mistakes and are willing to take committed action to get back on track, I have faith you will be closer to your goals sooner than you know!

Are you ready to reach your goals but need some guidance?

Sign up for a FREE phone consultation with me so you can learn more about how 1:1 life coaching will help you find the confidence that you can reach all of your goals + dreams.


**Big shout out to Rachel Hollis of “Girl Wash Your Face” and Brooke Castillo of “The Life Coach School” for giving me a wealth of knowledge in their teachings that helped me put together this post! 


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